Graduated Response - Pre-school

The toolkit helps early years providers support children with SEND using practical guidance aligned with the SEND Code of Practice.

Working with parents/carers

Building strong relationships with parents and carers is essential for supporting children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND). Parents know their child best and can provide valuable insights that help shape effective support.

Working in partnership

Early years settings should work closely with families to achieve the best outcomes for children. This partnership should be based on mutual respect, trust, and open communication.

Why it matters

  • Parents have unique knowledge about their child
  • Collaboration ensures consistent support at home and in the setting
  • The SEND Code of Practice 2015 and Early Years Foundation Stage Framework highlight the importance of parental involvement. 

Ways to engage parents

  • Home visits before the child starts nursery
  • Settling in sessions and regular conversations
  • Online learning journals and daily diaries
  • Informal coffee mornings and training sessions. 

The NASEN website has lots of helpful information. Please note that NASEN requires membership (free) to access these materials. 

Guidance on having difficult conversations

Sometimes practitioners need to share concerns about a child’s development or behaviour. These conversations can be sensitive, especially if it’s the first time parents hear about potential issues.

Before the meeting

  • Prepare parents by explaining the purpose of the discussion.
  • Consider their circumstances (e.g., time constraints, other children present).
  • Decide if another staff member should join the meeting.

During the meeting

  • Focus on observations and facts, not opinions.
  • Use “I statements” (e.g., I’m concerned about…).
  • Acknowledge differences in perspective and find common ground.
  • Maintain calm body language and respectful eye contact.
  • Be mindful of personal space and avoid gestures that could seem aggressive.

Helpful resources

  • Welcome to Holland – a short story that illustrates the experience of parenting a child with SEND.

Top tips for parents

Parents can support their child’s development at home through everyday activities. Useful resources include:

Practical ideas

  • Use nursery rhymes to encourage language.
  • Play and talk together to build communication skills.
  • Encourage eye contact and closeness.
  • Limit dummy use and manage screen time.
  • Explore sensory play and activities that promote concentration.