Plan/do
When deciding the best way to support children with social and emotional concerns, it is important to pin-point the aspects of social and emotional development that are causing concern.
The strategies and ideas below have been separated into different sections depending on the area of SEMH causing concern. There are some overlaps between the sections, but this may help in ensuring the support is targeting to the child’ particular need:
Managing emotions
If the concern is about managing anger/tantrums:
When the child is having a tantrum or ‘meltdown’ it is useful to remember that they are usually trying to communicate something to the adult/other child, for example this could be:
- ‘I don’t want to do that’
- ‘I want to play with that toy’
- ‘He has just taken that from me’ etc, etc.
During the tantrum, it is important for adults to keep calm as if an adult is also angry it will fuel the child’s anger rather than reducing it. It is effective if the ‘broken record’ technique is used – ‘I can see that you are angry, but you can’t do that at the moment/you can’t have that toy at the moment’ and calmly keep repeating if needed.
When a child is angry this is not the time to talk about the incident or reason with them, this should be done afterwards when the child is much calmer. The Anger Mountain (link) explains this well.
Strategies for supporting emotional regulation:
An objective for any intervention aimed for children who have difficulty in managing their emotions is to encourage their ability to learn through self-reflection and experience, build their self-esteem so that that they can allow others to have their point of view and respect and tolerate differences.
- Reflect and name your feelings regularly, “I feel happy because…” Talk about emotions during whole class carpet time.
- Use emotion coaching approaches- name the emotion the child is experiencing and offer regulating strategies.
The Educational Psychology Service can offer emotion coaching training. Also see The Whole Brain Child by Siegel et al. This book contains information specifically on responding to tantrums by using emotion coaching techniques.
- Use emotional vocabulary in early years settings by having posters on the wall. Introduce keyrings which include pictures of an emotion and a coping strategy on the back.
- Have emotion posters around the nursery and regularly use opportunities to re-visit feelings work.
- Some children may find it helpful to think about characters who have emotions. The Disney Pixar film Inside Out has been used effectively in many settings as a way of introducing feelings/ emotions work to young children.
- Always use a calm voice!
- Consider an intervention such as the Zones of Regulation.
- Have a ‘safe’ area in the nursery, where the child can go to calm down e.g. have a tent, corner of the classroom with cushions and preferred toys.
- Consider what the child is communicating. Bear in mind that anger is often a secondary emotion resulting from other emotions e.g. frustration, difficulty communicating needs etc.
- Use an ABCC chart- try to notice patterns/ possible triggers to a child’s behaviour:
- Antecedents- what came before the behaviour?
- Behaviour- what is the child doing?
- Consequences- what happened just after the behaviour?
- Communication- what might the child be communicating?
- Consider using a SEAT chart- see link.
Does the child have a sensory need?
Do they want to escape? (I don’t want to do this),
Are they seeking attention or interaction?
Is it a tangible need? Does the child want a toy, food?
If a child is having a ‘tantrum’ consider ways to de-escalate the behaviour e.g. distraction, introduce a preferred activity. Once the child is calm return to feelings/ emotions work; consider using restorative approaches (add link). It would be helpful to draw what happened and problem solve what the child could do differently next time they are in a similar situation.
Other interventions such as Fireworks- Managing Anger in Young Children may be helpful.
Managing relationships
If the concern is about friendships:
Children first engage in solitary play before moving onto parallel play before playing with peers. At approximately age 3-4 children begin to play with their peers in settings (please see typical social development stages). If children are finding it difficult to engage in co-operative play, then consider introducing strategies to develop a child’s play skills.
Strategies to develop play skills:
- Try to provide access to a range of peers and situations.
- Plan in structured play time e.g. building club or sing and rhyme with an adult taking the lead and model play.
- Bring in ways to develop team work e.g. group challenges, group reward systems.
- Short adult focused ‘playdates’ with a small group of children completing a cooking activity, game etc.
- For children to access a nurture or positive play group (if available in setting).
- Introduce an intervention such as The Essential Resilience and Well-being Toolkit for Early Years and Younger Children .
- Children may find social stories helpful.
- Read friendship stories e.g. A Friend like you.
- Complete class topic work about friendships.
If the concern is about separating from parents:
Some children can become anxious about separating from their parents when initially beginning nursery. This anxiety usually passes once a child is settled in their new routine and developed relationships with staff. However, some children continue to feel anxious when separating from their main caregiver and at this stage, it may be helpful to consider ways to ease transition from home to nursery/ school.
It is useful to build a good home- school liaison to help form good relationships between parent and staff. It will be important to reassure the parent and be open about support. Help the parent to remain calm, this will help to reassure the parent and reduce their anxiety.
Strategies to support separation anxiety:
- Read therapeutic stories about separation e.g. The Invisible String
- An intervention such as Dealing with Feelings.
- Putting together a sensory calming box the child can access on arrival- see www.safehandsthinkingminds.co.uk
- Introduce a meet and greet session in the morning.
- In the morning, it might help if the child comes slightly later after the rest of the class has settled.
- Sometimes children find bringing a transition object from home reassuring.
- Alternatively, an intervention such as The Worry Box might be useful.
- Have a relaxation session for the whole class- use mindfulness, finger breathing. There are a range of activities in Mindful Kids.
If the concern is about relationships with adults in the nursery:
Sometimes a child can struggle to form relationships with staff. This could be a consequence of finding it difficult to separate from parents, anxiety, difficulty communicating needs. Initially it would be helpful to use a tool such as an ABCC chart.
Strategies to build relationships:
- Introduce a preferred activity with a child’s close friend.
- Play alongside the child and talk about the activity/ toy.
- Read a social story.
- Introduce stories about friendships.
- Continue to speak in a calm voice.
- Keep the child in mind e.g. when across the classroom give a thumbs up.
Social skills
Many young children can find sharing and turn-taking difficult. However, some children can find it particularly challenging to wait their turn and may become angry when they must share. On those occasions, children may find it helpful to practise their turn taking/ sharing skills through a structured intervention.
Strategies to improve social skills.
Self-esteem/confidence
When we have confidence in our abilities, it helps us respond to problems with resilience. This “I can do it” attitude motivates us to keep trying even when things are difficult. Helping children gain confidence is best done in a nurturing environment and is part of self-regulation.
Strategies to build confidence:
- Encourage children to keep on trying even when the task is hard or frustrating. Give children the courage to keep going e.g. “that’s it! Keep going.”
- Show children that mistakes are okay, it is a part of learning.
- Be a strengths detective- pointing out a child’s strengths. There are activities in The Essential Resilience and Well-Being Toolkit for Early Years and Younger Children .
- Encourage activities based on strengths.
- Set up activities that are likely to lead to success.
- Offer choices, when children learn to make their own choice this will often lead to an increase in confidence.
- Introduce activities, such as ‘All About Me’. Celebrate successes with rewards, encouragement and praise.
From September 2020, the Educational Psychology Service is launching the Emotional Literacy Support Assistant (ELSA) initiative, as a pilot, in Burton. Depending on the outcome of this pilot it is hoped that this initiative will be extended to other parts of the county. Additional information about ELSA can be located on the ELSA network website.